Let me say first that carving out the space and connecting more deeply with yourself (ultimately to find yourself) is the most important decision you have made, regardless of the vehicle, method, approach, tactic, or strategy... THAT was the springboard for all this INCREDIBLE light that has flooded into your life experience! It's also the most rewarding, AND the most connective -- now you're here sharing it!? GAH! What an incredible light you are shining for all those around you (including all of us!). 👏✨ (queue standing ovation!!)
Please remember -- you are a GORGEOUS child of the Universe, and you will be cared for no matter WHAT! 💗✨
I believe you also tugged on a really important thread -- understanding our "why" by connecting with our hearts more deeply (internal).
That (external) relentless, tireless, I-have-to-be-this-way-and-do-this-thing, and the search for more is typically a feat of our lovely egos 🙄✨. But instead, you're CHOOSING to go inward and reflect, to understand, and to dive more deeply into what is next. And combining this with the space of "what's next" means that a gorgeous change is coming, which will contain even more alignment, abundance, excitement, joy, laughter, and light. It's the space between that creates this for us! ✨
I'm here to cheer you on, as well as remind you of how DEEPLY you are loved. Continue to allow, and it will all continue to flow 🪷✨ LOVE YOU GIRL!!! 🌷💗✨
Thank you for always supporting me despite being so far away! You're absolute right that the search for more is due to our egos. I'm fighting this piece of shit every day! Some days I win, some days I lose. But that's life, right?
These days, I just count my blessings and I'm so grateful that you're with me. Love you for that, Lav!
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful and inspiring story. It resonated deeply with me, and you've encouraged me to consider sharing my own. I'm looking forward to reading more from you, Billie.
Thank you so much! That means a lot coming from you. Honestly, I didn’t feel level-headed or strong most of the time but I guess showing up anyway is what counts. Appreciate you being here~
"If I’m already living how I’d want to live in retirement,
then how do I want to live until I die?"
Yooo that's so relatable. I faced this tough realization at the beginning of last year. I already feel that I'm somewhat in retirement. The worst part is that no one told us what to do after all the hustle and bustle of a regular life.
My father is 73 and is already retired. In his case is not a "thought experiment" like in mine. And we both agree that doing what retired people are "supposed to do" is boring as heck.
Pretty much every day I can choose to not do anything and take it chill. But why would I do that? We only get one shot at this life and I want to take it as fully as possible while making a positive impact all around.
Omg, Juan. You articulated that tension perfectly. Nobody really tells us what comes after the hustle. It’s like… we tick all the boxes and then go, “now what?” I love that you’re choosing fullness and intention over chill-for-chill’s-sake. Let's aim to make an impact while living retired lives. At least that's what I'm trying to do here with my Substack. 😅 Cheering you on, brudda.
Yeah it's such a weird thing that reminds me that last scene in the "Finding Nemo" movie.
All the fish finally are able to escape the aquarium they were in. They are all happy and cheery about the feat. And then after a while they're like "Okay... now what?"
And is sort of a crisis of meaning that I was only able to endure and get to other side thanks to my family's belief system and a good dose of stoicism.
"Memento Mori" is what I normally tell myself.
I can already be dead. After all, I have checked all the boxes of one is "supposed" to do.
But since I'm not (yet) it means that I have extra time in this earth to do what you mentioned, make an impact while living "retired".
Haha! The Finding Nemo reference is perfect! It’s wild how we’re sold this script of ticking boxes and then… silence.
And Memento Mori is such a grounding mantra. I first heard of it either from watching Shooter or The Punisher. The fact that you’re treating this “extra time” as space to create meaning instead of wasting it all away by mindless chilling is powerful and something I wholeheartedly stand gor. Appreciate you being here and welcome to this odd little corner of retired-but-not-really life.
I can relate. I left my job a few years ago after 20 years working in higher education and I haven’t looked back since. The environment and office politics were just brutal.
Bette, thank you for sharing that. 20 years is no small chapter, and I totally feel you on the brutal politics. It totally drains the soul. I'm so glad you walked away and didn’t look back. Cheers to reclaiming our time and rewriting what life gets to look like!
Lovely article. The kind that stirs something deep within the soul. It took me about 4 decades of my life to realise that peace, happiness and joy don't come from a paycheck or a title.
I now know that they come from barefoot mornings in the kitchen with my girls, laughter that lingers, shared stories, and a sense of wholeness that doesn't need applause to feel valid.
You're spot on on the moving target. It's so easy for us to stay in pursuit mode and sometimes it takes posts as yours to remind us that we need to pause and breathe because "we already won." I love that totally.
And staying present with our sweaty, joy-soaked, imperfect lives is the most radical win of all.
Stella, wow... thank you. This whole comment feels like a warm hand on my shoulder. I love how you put it: barefoot mornings, shared stories, joy that doesn’t need applause. That’s exactly the kind of life I’m trying to stay present for.
And yes - that sweaty, joy-soaked, imperfect wholeness is the win I'm striving for!
Geez, I needed this. And my midday beer that I have been missing. The honesty of life lead versus the life left behind in so much more savory and bold in experiences. I applaud you to taking the leap. I applaud me for taking the leap. I applaud those who are or will. And cheers!
I left 9-5 for a life more extraordinary because I wasn’t made for the ordinary. I tried. I sincerely tried. Countless times. Countless ways. I am here to make my own path. I am here to live boldly and authentically me. Before you tell me no you can’t. Shut up and watch me do. Because I can. And I will.
Whoa... I guess I met yet another kindred soul on Substack! We are on the same path! And I agree that we are just not cut out for the ordinary. I'll be supporting and cheering you on from now, fellow INFP!
Wow Billie this is so Inspiring and I am so proud of you! Your book alone is magic itself 💯 The website is fantastic! And then the feature and reviews??? You are on fire!!! 🔥 I can't express how much I feel so happy for you! ❤️👏🏽 Cheers!🍻
Astrid!! 😭 Thank you so, so much. Honestly, your words mean so much to me. This book nearly broke me but finishing it for Lissie and it being in Kino made everything worthwhile. And I’m so happy you checked out the site too! Cheers right back at you 🥂❤️
You deserve a standing ovation!😊👏🏽 Some people might not understand the gravity of creating a website, but I do. And the way it looks, including the logo and just everything altogether is so impressive 💯 I love your work and I believe you are a very talented artist, and doing all that with your daughter in mind is so beautiful ❤️
You’re gonna make me cry again. Thank you so damn much... seriously. It means a lot that you see it - the site, the logo, the whole damn thing. I nearly lost my mind putting it all together but I wanted it to feel like something Lissie could be proud of.
Appreciate you big time. You always show up with so much heart!
HAHA I KNOW RIGHT?! We train at Evolve MMA. I l like it because the trainers for both Muay Thai and BJJ are natives. So Thai Muay Thai krus and Brazilian BJJ professors. They are all actively fighting in ONE Championship and the schedule is so flexible and perfect for me.
And Lissie is also in the competition team and Evolve has been the top school at the competitions so I'm proud of that. About 5k SGD per annum. Not per month but still the priciest gym in Singapore, but we get to do Muay Thai, BJJ, and also boxing and MMA eventually.
But yeah, it definitely bites the wallet. Totally worth it though — I just budget like mad everywhere else 😅
Oh thank you, Patty! That means a lot. And I’m so glad the moving target part hit. It’s wild how often we keep shifting the finish line, even after we cross it. Appreciate you being here. 💕
Your story reminds me very much of the "myth of arrival," the misconception that there is a specific point in life where all struggles end, and happiness and peace will be achieved. But that point, as you've noted, never arrives. We just keep chasing it instead of appreciating where we are in the present.
Jeff, YES. You nailed it. That “myth of arrival” mindset is sneaky. I kept thinking peace would come after a milestone, and now I’m learning to look for it in the middle of the mess. Really appreciate your thoughtful reflection here.
This is it!! Great piece.
- SAHM mum of 6
Yassss! This is it. Haha!
My sweet friend, Billie! 💗✨
Let me say first that carving out the space and connecting more deeply with yourself (ultimately to find yourself) is the most important decision you have made, regardless of the vehicle, method, approach, tactic, or strategy... THAT was the springboard for all this INCREDIBLE light that has flooded into your life experience! It's also the most rewarding, AND the most connective -- now you're here sharing it!? GAH! What an incredible light you are shining for all those around you (including all of us!). 👏✨ (queue standing ovation!!)
Please remember -- you are a GORGEOUS child of the Universe, and you will be cared for no matter WHAT! 💗✨
I believe you also tugged on a really important thread -- understanding our "why" by connecting with our hearts more deeply (internal).
That (external) relentless, tireless, I-have-to-be-this-way-and-do-this-thing, and the search for more is typically a feat of our lovely egos 🙄✨. But instead, you're CHOOSING to go inward and reflect, to understand, and to dive more deeply into what is next. And combining this with the space of "what's next" means that a gorgeous change is coming, which will contain even more alignment, abundance, excitement, joy, laughter, and light. It's the space between that creates this for us! ✨
I'm here to cheer you on, as well as remind you of how DEEPLY you are loved. Continue to allow, and it will all continue to flow 🪷✨ LOVE YOU GIRL!!! 🌷💗✨
Thank you for always supporting me despite being so far away! You're absolute right that the search for more is due to our egos. I'm fighting this piece of shit every day! Some days I win, some days I lose. But that's life, right?
These days, I just count my blessings and I'm so grateful that you're with me. Love you for that, Lav!
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful and inspiring story. It resonated deeply with me, and you've encouraged me to consider sharing my own. I'm looking forward to reading more from you, Billie.
I'm so glad it resonated with you, Omar. And I'd love to hear your version of this story!
Wow. This is amazing and you are so level-headed, clear-minded, and strong! Thanks for the inspiration to go after our dreams no matter the obstacles.
Thank you so much! That means a lot coming from you. Honestly, I didn’t feel level-headed or strong most of the time but I guess showing up anyway is what counts. Appreciate you being here~
Awww I’m so happy to be here and cheering you on! 💙
"If I’m already living how I’d want to live in retirement,
then how do I want to live until I die?"
Yooo that's so relatable. I faced this tough realization at the beginning of last year. I already feel that I'm somewhat in retirement. The worst part is that no one told us what to do after all the hustle and bustle of a regular life.
My father is 73 and is already retired. In his case is not a "thought experiment" like in mine. And we both agree that doing what retired people are "supposed to do" is boring as heck.
Pretty much every day I can choose to not do anything and take it chill. But why would I do that? We only get one shot at this life and I want to take it as fully as possible while making a positive impact all around.
Omg, Juan. You articulated that tension perfectly. Nobody really tells us what comes after the hustle. It’s like… we tick all the boxes and then go, “now what?” I love that you’re choosing fullness and intention over chill-for-chill’s-sake. Let's aim to make an impact while living retired lives. At least that's what I'm trying to do here with my Substack. 😅 Cheering you on, brudda.
Yeah it's such a weird thing that reminds me that last scene in the "Finding Nemo" movie.
All the fish finally are able to escape the aquarium they were in. They are all happy and cheery about the feat. And then after a while they're like "Okay... now what?"
And is sort of a crisis of meaning that I was only able to endure and get to other side thanks to my family's belief system and a good dose of stoicism.
"Memento Mori" is what I normally tell myself.
I can already be dead. After all, I have checked all the boxes of one is "supposed" to do.
But since I'm not (yet) it means that I have extra time in this earth to do what you mentioned, make an impact while living "retired".
Haha! The Finding Nemo reference is perfect! It’s wild how we’re sold this script of ticking boxes and then… silence.
And Memento Mori is such a grounding mantra. I first heard of it either from watching Shooter or The Punisher. The fact that you’re treating this “extra time” as space to create meaning instead of wasting it all away by mindless chilling is powerful and something I wholeheartedly stand gor. Appreciate you being here and welcome to this odd little corner of retired-but-not-really life.
Hahaha great to see you found that mantra from another movie. 😆
Thanks for making this space and allowing others who are grappling with these questions and maybe think they're alone in it.
I can relate. I left my job a few years ago after 20 years working in higher education and I haven’t looked back since. The environment and office politics were just brutal.
Bette, thank you for sharing that. 20 years is no small chapter, and I totally feel you on the brutal politics. It totally drains the soul. I'm so glad you walked away and didn’t look back. Cheers to reclaiming our time and rewriting what life gets to look like!
It does take a serious mental and physical toll. Hope you are having a fabulous week so far 😊
Lovely article. The kind that stirs something deep within the soul. It took me about 4 decades of my life to realise that peace, happiness and joy don't come from a paycheck or a title.
I now know that they come from barefoot mornings in the kitchen with my girls, laughter that lingers, shared stories, and a sense of wholeness that doesn't need applause to feel valid.
You're spot on on the moving target. It's so easy for us to stay in pursuit mode and sometimes it takes posts as yours to remind us that we need to pause and breathe because "we already won." I love that totally.
And staying present with our sweaty, joy-soaked, imperfect lives is the most radical win of all.
Stella, wow... thank you. This whole comment feels like a warm hand on my shoulder. I love how you put it: barefoot mornings, shared stories, joy that doesn’t need applause. That’s exactly the kind of life I’m trying to stay present for.
And yes - that sweaty, joy-soaked, imperfect wholeness is the win I'm striving for!
Geez, I needed this. And my midday beer that I have been missing. The honesty of life lead versus the life left behind in so much more savory and bold in experiences. I applaud you to taking the leap. I applaud me for taking the leap. I applaud those who are or will. And cheers!
I left 9-5 for a life more extraordinary because I wasn’t made for the ordinary. I tried. I sincerely tried. Countless times. Countless ways. I am here to make my own path. I am here to live boldly and authentically me. Before you tell me no you can’t. Shut up and watch me do. Because I can. And I will.
Whoa... I guess I met yet another kindred soul on Substack! We are on the same path! And I agree that we are just not cut out for the ordinary. I'll be supporting and cheering you on from now, fellow INFP!
You've found what so many people are looking for. There's an adage: When you get what you want, make sure you want what you got.
You actually got what you want, and when you got it, realized you wanted it. Good for you!
Thank you, Paul. That’s such a solid reminder — “make sure you want what you got.” It’s something I need to keep coming back to. Appreciate you~
I appreciate you, too, Billie.
Wow Billie this is so Inspiring and I am so proud of you! Your book alone is magic itself 💯 The website is fantastic! And then the feature and reviews??? You are on fire!!! 🔥 I can't express how much I feel so happy for you! ❤️👏🏽 Cheers!🍻
Astrid!! 😭 Thank you so, so much. Honestly, your words mean so much to me. This book nearly broke me but finishing it for Lissie and it being in Kino made everything worthwhile. And I’m so happy you checked out the site too! Cheers right back at you 🥂❤️
You deserve a standing ovation!😊👏🏽 Some people might not understand the gravity of creating a website, but I do. And the way it looks, including the logo and just everything altogether is so impressive 💯 I love your work and I believe you are a very talented artist, and doing all that with your daughter in mind is so beautiful ❤️
Astrid 😭
You’re gonna make me cry again. Thank you so damn much... seriously. It means a lot that you see it - the site, the logo, the whole damn thing. I nearly lost my mind putting it all together but I wanted it to feel like something Lissie could be proud of.
Appreciate you big time. You always show up with so much heart!
Ok I'll shut up for now hahaha but again, congratulations and good job 💯☺️
Well done for you!! But seriously my friend, what place do you go to that charges 5k for MMA??!😭
HAHA I KNOW RIGHT?! We train at Evolve MMA. I l like it because the trainers for both Muay Thai and BJJ are natives. So Thai Muay Thai krus and Brazilian BJJ professors. They are all actively fighting in ONE Championship and the schedule is so flexible and perfect for me.
And Lissie is also in the competition team and Evolve has been the top school at the competitions so I'm proud of that. About 5k SGD per annum. Not per month but still the priciest gym in Singapore, but we get to do Muay Thai, BJJ, and also boxing and MMA eventually.
But yeah, it definitely bites the wallet. Totally worth it though — I just budget like mad everywhere else 😅
One Championship??!! Wild!
That's really nice, I would love to train in a place like that!
You should! I usually check out other gyms when I travel. Love the ones in Thailand and Bali!
When I travel, trust me I will
First of all, you’ve done so well! Good for you. Second, I need to think a bit about my own moving targets. Lots to unpack. 💕
Oh thank you, Patty! That means a lot. And I’m so glad the moving target part hit. It’s wild how often we keep shifting the finish line, even after we cross it. Appreciate you being here. 💕
Your story reminds me very much of the "myth of arrival," the misconception that there is a specific point in life where all struggles end, and happiness and peace will be achieved. But that point, as you've noted, never arrives. We just keep chasing it instead of appreciating where we are in the present.
Jeff, YES. You nailed it. That “myth of arrival” mindset is sneaky. I kept thinking peace would come after a milestone, and now I’m learning to look for it in the middle of the mess. Really appreciate your thoughtful reflection here.